Two-man wolfpack

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie". This week's five points of the poster are:

(Image credit: Movieweb.com)

1) We can't be sure, but this might be the first tandem animal ride since the inspired cheetah ride in Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle. This wolf ride appears to be a tip-of-the-hat to that legendary moment in cinema, H & K fans everywhere will appreciate this thoughtful gesture. Some might even be touched enough to see this movie. It's always hard to know what they might do as they stuff themselves with White Castle burgers...

2) Do their heads seem unnaturally big for their bodies? They kinda look like bobbleheads. I would like to say they look familiar, but they don't. One would think that if they had a billion dollars to spend on this movie that they would look familiar, hmm... Nice to see they were able to us their incredible wealth to get a 2-for-1 deal on their khakis.

3) Wait, are these the guys from Flight of the Conchords? Doesn't the one in the blue shirt look like the guy with the sideburns? I think we might just have something here, they too have abnormally large heads, as seen on the cover of their DVD.

4) It wasn't immediately clear what this patch of grass was supposed to represent, and why would one need a wolf to run over it? Now that we've been able to identify the two main characters in the movie poster, it's clear that this is New Zealand drawn to scale! It would also appear that they have included a picture of every single resident of New Zealand. Kiwis are a fun bunch, I'm glad they made it into this movie poster.

5) Attention movie poster designers: When a movie poster calls for the appearance of an animal, it is usually good to use one that doesn't have rabies. (A general rule of thumb is not to use animals or actors that are foaming at the mouth.)

In conclusion, based on this thorough analysis we predict that "Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie" will gross $7.9 million during its opening weekend.

One-trick poster...

(Image credit: Collider.com)

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "Wanderlust". This week's five points of the poster are:

1) Paul Rudd and Jennifer Aniston! This movie poster is full of rom-com royalty. How could it be anything but the funniest and most romantic movie poster of all time?

2) What could be more romantic than... running for your life? Why are Paul and Jennifer running away from the crew? Is the Director running around with a gun? Did the Boom Operator just turn into a werewolf? (If that's it, that would be really puzzling. After all, why would you have a Boom Operator on a movie poster shoot and how does one turn into a werewolf during the day? Although, since this is a rom-com shoot it might be one of those silly Twilight werewolves...)

3) Wanderlust, defined by Dictionary.com as a strong, innate desire to rove or travel about... Maybe they're not running away, maybe they are overcome with the desire to travel... to the end of the dock. You would think that as professionals they would have waited until the end of the movie poster shoot.

4) The name of this movie has inspired us to create a new word to describe our love of movie posters. Using the same method they used here, just combine words together and POOF, we have: "Moviepostermonday"! Defined as the desire to review movie posters on Monday...

5) Even without knowing the Role Models' team was behind this poster, it wouldn't have been hard to pick out the one-trick pony who directed this movie poster shoot. I think a certain director has a crush on Paul Rudd, how else could you explain BOTH posters featuring Paul's butt? Now, Jennifer Aniston we could understand, but Paul Rudd? (No disrespect to Paul, but you don't have the "leading man butt" that one would find on Brad Pitt, George Clooney, or George Hamilton, it's more of a Hank Azaria butt. Sorry, dude.) 

In conclusion, based on this thorough analysis we predict that "Wanderlust" will gross $11 million in its opening weekend.

Fire in the Cage!

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance". This week's five points of the poster are:

(Image credit: Majorspoilers.com)

1) Nicolas Cage? Where is he? Did he have an appointment with his bank manager? If so, couldn't they just reschedule the movie poster shoot? It really isn't helpful to have the name of a movie star on your movie poster and then not show them. Afterall, having the right star on your poster can make all the difference at the box office. Let's take the example of "Underworld", Kate Beckinsale was on the poster, it make a bajillion dollars and spawned like four sequels or something like that. "Click" on the other hand didn't have Kate Beckinsale on the poster and there were no sequels. I rest my case.

2)Oh wait, I think I see Cage, is this him? He doesn't look so good. I know he's been having some financial trouble, but I didn't know he had fallen on such tough times. Looks like he maybe got some of the discount plastic surgery in South America. Nick, Nick, Nick, get a deal when you're shopping for laundry soap, not when you're looking for someone to rip your face off and put it back on...

3) I do have another theory, perhaps he didn't borrow all that money for his real estate portfolio from the bank. Perhaps he turned to the mob for some of that "coin", and when he couldn't make the payments they made a visit to the set. As he was obviously melted to his motorcycle after that, I give the director of this movie poster shoot for making the best out of a bad situation.

4) Even if this is a mob intimidation tactic, I do have to say that it's pretty cool to have a flaming motorcycle!

5) Normally we don't like "3D", but there are so many numbers here that it gets lost. So what I'm saying is it doesn't really matter to me if it's 3D, 2D, or 2.17D.

In conclusion, based on this thorough analysis we predict that "Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance" will gross $40 million in its opening weekend (Mostly because we mentioned Kate Beckinsale in this movie poster review.)

Do you smell what the Rock has stepped in?

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "Journey 2: The Mysterious Island". This week's five points of the poster are:

(Image credit: Onlinemovieshut.com)

1) It looks here like Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is having second thoughts about appearing in this movie poster. We're sure they told him that it would be for a children's movie and it would be easy, like the poster shoot for The Tooth Fairy. He'll look like a dork, but it'll be over with quickly. Then they brought in the giant lizard... Doesn't he also have that look on his face that says he may have just stepped in a mystery substance? Poor, Dwayne...

2) These are funny looking rocks. Or are they supposed to be eggs? Could you imagine getting a hold of one of those eggs? What an omelette one could make! Wonder if they would be any good... Anyhow, while giant eggs are kinda interesting, I'm not sure if they're "Mysterious". After all, this is the movie poster shoot for "Journey 2: The MYSTERIOUS Island". If you only saw the eggs, I can see how it might be a bit mysterious, but after you see the giant lizard the giant eggs are actually not that unexpected.

3) Giant lizards are always a nice touch on any movie poster. The hardest part is usually getting the permits to have one on location and then not allowing it to eat any of the actors.

4) Child actors really need to take their craft more seriously. These two can't even convince me that they are actually running. Why would anyone run in the tiny cracks between the eggs? If one was really running for their lives wouldn't you run on top of the eggs? Oh, the kids today...

5) 3D... If we had a dime for every movie poster that had 3D on it. We've said it once, we'll say it again, 3D is no longer so cool that it will help sell your movie. Now if your movie had "Smell-o-vision" then that would be something! Could you imagine if the kids in the theatre could, "smell what The Rock was cooking?" Likely to be a big pot of giant lizard stew, I'll bet that would smell wonderful with some onions, peppers and cajun spices...

In conclusion, based on this thorough analysis we predict that "Journey 2: The Mysterious Island" will gross $20 million in its opening weekend (Mostly because The Rock is in the movie poster).