What's the thread count on this poster?

(Image credit: Seat42F.com)

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "Shame". This week's five points of the poster are:

1) Another one-word movie poster. There seems to be more of these appearing these days, could it be because we're getting closer to Oscar time? Many past one-word movie posters have catapulted the movies they represent to Oscar gold! Is this going to be one of those posters? Only the Academy knows the answer to that question. If anyone has the inside scoop, feel free to drop us an anonymous message here at Movie Poster Monday. We promise to give you a cut of whatever money we get from TMZ.

2) I guess the movie poster set designer is quite the domestic god or goddess because why else would they have chosen to display an unmade bed when he/ she was asked to design a shameful set? "OMG, could anyone imagine a more shameful event than if you had company over to your home and they saw your bed unmade? I would totally die right there!"

3) Letting everyone know that your movie poster has won awards is always a good way to draw attention to it. According to these ashtrays, or Oreos, or whatever they are, the poster has won awards in Toronto, New York, London... Telluride? And, um, some place called Michael Fassbender?

4) Are indentations in the bedding suppose to imply that someone or more than one person was sleeping in this bed? Did the stylists on this shoot simply not want to rough up the bedding themselves and instead decided to poke at it with broomsticks to try to create the "slept-in" effect?

5) Bingo! We have found the mystery behind the place called "Michael Fassbender". Apparently he is one of the stars of the movie poster. So, I guess he gave this movie poster an award? Not sure if a movie poster star giving their own poster an award is the most convincing move. Maybe instead he should have asked his mom to award his movie poster using her maiden name, then at least it would have taken a Google search to discover the trickery. Maybe that's the real shame in this movie poster, the Michael Fassbender Award for the Best Michael Fassbender Movie Poster. 

In conclusion, based on this thorough analysis I predict that "Shame" will gross $2.9 million in its opening weekend. 

Muppet Poster Monday

(Image credit: Collider.com)

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "The Muppets". This week's five points of the poster are:

1) Not too many guys can pull off a powder blue suit, Jason Segel is one of those guys. We're not actually sure how he does it, he is somehow always able to pull off unconventional clothing in movie posters. I mean, who could forget his appearance in a Hawaiian shirt on the movie poster for Forgetting Sarah Marshall? Once again, he nailed it. Still remains a mystery, he's not George Clooney and no one would rank him in the same class as Ryan Reynolds, so how does he pull it off? Maybe it's because he's so tall you feel he's imaginary, so wacky clothing is ok on him cause he's imaginary... That can't be right, cause then that would mean that Johnny Depp was imaginary...

2) This Muppet is creepy. Did someone make Jason Segel pose in a movie poster with his own voodoo doll? This Muppet is getting creepier and creepier by the minute.

3) Movie Poster Monday likes Amy Adams. +1 to any movie poster that includes her. Here's one Hollywood starlet that lights up any poster!

4) Ok, just found a Muppet who's creepier. Normal human people are creepy with mustaches, a muppet is really creepy with one. That accordion collar thing only serves to amplify his creepiness.

5) The old guys crack me up! I wish I could listen to their commentary during the shooting of this movie poster. I'm sure it has something to do with how creepy the whole experience was, and questions about, "What is the Twitter?".

In conclusion, based on this thorough analysis I predict that "The Muppets" will gross $25.3 million in its opening weekend. 

The phantom menace

(Image credit: OnlineMoviesHut.com)

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "Another Happy Day". This week's five points of the poster are:

1) Ellen Barkin has raised movie poster acting to a new level. For the first time an actor has successfully recreated the future face of a famous movie poster actor. In this frame she is playing actress Cameron Diaz in 20 years without plastic surgery, or 40 years if she decides to seek the assistance of cosmetic surgeons. Well done, Ellen, you're beautiful!

2) In this frame Ellen Burstyn asks, "Who farted? Was it you surfer girl? You were hanging out with that elf from the Lord of the Rings movie poster for a bunch of years and we know that elves have gas problems! After all, why else would they be pushed out of real villages and cities? Because seriously, who would voluntarily live in a tree and bake cookies if they weren't forced to because no one would have them as a neighbor...". (And the whole cookie baking thing is probably just to cover up the fart smell.)

3) It is obvious that this movie poster shoot is plagued by a suspicious, unidentified odour. Thomas Haden Church has also turned an accusing eye at Kate Bosworth. "Was it you?" He wonders... Also, he wonders what other horrible habits she picked up in the Forest of Endor or wherever she was vacationing with elf-boy. Then he notices that her eyes are different colors and is confused, and that appears to be the facial expression they captured for this poster. Interesting choice movie poster director, I guess you wanted to leave the possibility open that this movie poster shoot would end on a happy note?

4) Kate has had a rough time during this movie poster shoot with two of her co-stars accusing her of being the "Phantom Farter". Her inability to look either of them in the eyes might be an admission of guilt. Is she the "Phantom Farter"? Did she pick up bad habits from the elf? Will anyone ever want to work with her again on a future movie poster? Or is she just a classy lady who is ignoring these bullies?

5) Our apologies to Kate, we were lead by your jealous co-stars into believing you were the "Phantom Farter". It's obvious by the guilty look on Demi Moore's face that she did it!

In conclusion, based on this thorough analysis I predict that "Another Happy Day" will gross $3,872 in its opening (limited release) weekend. 

This is Movie Poster Monday!!!

(Image credit: Collider.com)

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "Immortals". This week's five points of the poster are:

1) I did enjoy the movie poster for 300, so I'm glad that as I review this poster I can do so screaming, "This is SPARTA"!!!

2) With so many names listed I almost thought that there were big time stars on this movie poster! But then I saw "Stephen Dorff" and I realized that they just decided to list a bunch of names. To be fair though, Mickey Rourke was nominated for an Oscar and Freida Pinto was nominated for TWO MTV Movie Awards (Best Kiss annd Breakthrough Performance Female) so there is some talent on the roster...

3) In the past Movie Poster Monday has been critical of movies that try to use "3D" as a selling point. While we still feel that it is no longer something that will make your poster special, if done discreetly it can still enhance your poster without being lame. This use of "3D" is subtle and doesn't distract from the rest of the poster. Nicely done.

4) I would love to have been on the set for this movie poster shoot! It's always a challenge to get people to stand on their marks for the shoot, but to actually suspend them upside down is quite another challenge. Danger points for suspending armed movie poster extras. Excitement and violence from all movie poster viewing angles, this is good work!

5) It's always interesting to see the competition that takes place when people are jockeying for prime movie poster positioning. Some people will do anything to be the center of attention in a movie poster and who could blame them? A starring role in a quality movie poster could make or break your career. Even Chuck Norris barely survived appearing in the movie poster for Top Dog, only escaping C-list obscurity thanks to a rescue by his TV alter-ego Walker, Texas Ranger. Here we can see that our friend here, who apparently felt a gold medallion on his stomach would be better than one hanging from a chain on his chest, is willing to do anything to secure a choice spot on any movie poster. I feel we'll see great things from him in the future...

In conclusion, based on this thorough analysis I predict that "Immortals" will gross $18.9 million in its opening weekend.