Did someone forget to invite Tommy Lee Jones?

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "The Family". This week's five points of the poster are:

1)    This is the strangest family portrait we’ve ever seen. We think that the movie poster director must secretly have aspirations to be a modern artist. Or maybe it symbolizes today’s modern family being too busy to all gather together for a family portrait and instead parents are forced to Photoshop everyone into a photo or risk not having one. That’s pretty deep for a movie poster…
2)    We thought last week’s poster was low budget because they couldn’t turn on the lights for Vin Diesel, but this week’s takes it to a new level as it seems they can’t even afford a new tennis racket for the shoot.
3)    Perhaps Robert De Niro is the reason they had to cut back on the prop budget. He’s got a lot of restaurants to fund in this uncertain economy, so after they’ve paid De Niro it’s likely that there wasn’t much left in the pot. Oh well, hope that tennis scene is really short cause it’s not gonna be a long game.
4)    How could you ever go wrong putting Michelle Pfeiffer in a movie poster? Bravo!
5)    Wait a minute, where’s Tommy Lee Jones? Did someone forget to send him the memo about the movie poster shoot? When he finds out he was left off the poster he’s gonna be mad as a badger with an expired coupon… Or whatever it is he says when he’s angry.

In conclusion, based on our detailed analysis of "The Family", we predict that it'll make $9.7 million during its first weekend. 

Is Vin Diesel afraid of the dark?

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "Riddick". This week's five points of the poster are:

(Image credit: Collider.com)

  1) Uh oh, someone’s gonna be in trouble! I would hate to be the movie poster lighting guy who forgot to turn on the lights during Vin Diesel’s movie poster shoot. He doesn’t look very happy at all, I wonder if he’s about to have a Christian Bale moment…

   2)Yeah, he’s mad. One doesn’t get “glowy eyes” unless you’re just absolutely livid! But, it is also possible that inhaling all the fumes from all those Fast and Furious movie poster shoots has made his eyes just naturally glow like that… Hmm, we won’t know the answer to that question until his next shoot.

   3) Wow, the movie is gonna be in IMAX! Let’s call the 80’s and let them know.

   4) We wonder if he picked out his own sunglasses for this shoot. Vin doesn’t seem too happy about them, otherwise he’d be wearing them properly instead of plopping them on the top of his head. However, wearing your sunglasses on the top of your head is something that many of today’s actresses do, perhaps he’s trying to channel his inner Cameron Diaz for this role?

5)      As Vin Diesel’s name is the only one on the poster, we’re gonna assume that there’s either no one else in the movie, or actors so bad they’re not worth mentioning. Either way, it doesn’t really give us much confidence in the overall movie poster experience.

In conclusion, based on our detailed analysis of "Riddick", we predict that it'll make $15 million during its first weekend.