Monday, September 9, 2013

Did someone forget to invite Tommy Lee Jones?

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "The Family". This week's five points of the poster are:

1)    This is the strangest family portrait we’ve ever seen. We think that the movie poster director must secretly have aspirations to be a modern artist. Or maybe it symbolizes today’s modern family being too busy to all gather together for a family portrait and instead parents are forced to Photoshop everyone into a photo or risk not having one. That’s pretty deep for a movie poster…
2)    We thought last week’s poster was low budget because they couldn’t turn on the lights for Vin Diesel, but this week’s takes it to a new level as it seems they can’t even afford a new tennis racket for the shoot.
3)    Perhaps Robert De Niro is the reason they had to cut back on the prop budget. He’s got a lot of restaurants to fund in this uncertain economy, so after they’ve paid De Niro it’s likely that there wasn’t much left in the pot. Oh well, hope that tennis scene is really short cause it’s not gonna be a long game.
4)    How could you ever go wrong putting Michelle Pfeiffer in a movie poster? Bravo!
5)    Wait a minute, where’s Tommy Lee Jones? Did someone forget to send him the memo about the movie poster shoot? When he finds out he was left off the poster he’s gonna be mad as a badger with an expired coupon… Or whatever it is he says when he’s angry.

In conclusion, based on our detailed analysis of "The Family", we predict that it'll make $9.7 million during its first weekend. 

Monday, September 2, 2013

Is Vin Diesel afraid of the dark?


This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "Riddick". This week's five points of the poster are:

(Image credit: Collider.com)
  1) Uh oh, someone’s gonna be in trouble! I would hate to be the movie poster lighting guy who forgot to turn on the lights during Vin Diesel’s movie poster shoot. He doesn’t look very happy at all, I wonder if he’s about to have a Christian Bale moment…


   2)Yeah, he’s mad. One doesn’t get “glowy eyes” unless you’re just absolutely livid! But, it is also possible that inhaling all the fumes from all those Fast and Furious movie poster shoots has made his eyes just naturally glow like that… Hmm, we won’t know the answer to that question until his next shoot.

   3) Wow, the movie is gonna be in IMAX! Let’s call the 80’s and let them know.

   4) We wonder if he picked out his own sunglasses for this shoot. Vin doesn’t seem too happy about them, otherwise he’d be wearing them properly instead of plopping them on the top of his head. However, wearing your sunglasses on the top of your head is something that many of today’s actresses do, perhaps he’s trying to channel his inner Cameron Diaz for this role?

5)      As Vin Diesel’s name is the only one on the poster, we’re gonna assume that there’s either no one else in the movie, or actors so bad they’re not worth mentioning. Either way, it doesn’t really give us much confidence in the overall movie poster experience.

In conclusion, based on our detailed analysis of "Riddick", we predict that it'll make $15 million during its first weekend. 

Monday, June 3, 2013

Someone get this movie poster a Red Bull!

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "The Internship". This week's five points of the poster are:

(Image credit: Filmofilia.com)
1) It's good to see this comedic dual working together again on another movie poster. But, we feel a bit let down by this sequel to the Wedding Crashers poster. That poster had energy, it had Vince Vaughn about to snap in half, it had Christopher Walken's name on it, it had some great movie poster elements. This one is kinda boring... Sorry guys, we're just not feeling this one, and from the looks on their faces it would seem that they're not feeling it either.

2) We feel their first mistake was to put Vince on the left and Owen on the right. Everyone knows that Vince does his best movie poster work on the right side of the poster. (As seen in the Wedding Crashers poster where we see a Vince Vaughn who is actually awake for the shoot... Or it might just be a Vince that's on something funky, either way he looks alive.)

3) What are we pointing at here? We don't get it.

4) If we need any more evidence of Vince's inability to work the left side of the movie poster, all we need to do is dig up the Couples Retreat poster. We can't explain it, but the left is definitely his weak side, he just can't seem to get his game together from there.

5) Then we have Owen Wilson who seems to think that he does his best movie poster work from the middle of the poster. We're not completely convinced, he showed some genius in the Midnight in Paris poster , we're split on You, Me and Dupree, but we're seriously questioning his work on the Marley & Me poster.

In conclusion, based on our detailed analysis of "The Internship", we predict that it'll make $23 million during its first weekend. 

Monday, May 27, 2013

Now you see... Actually, we have no idea what we're looking at...

Movie Poster Monday is back! This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "Now You See Me". This week's five points of the poster are:

(Image credit: Majorspoilers.com)
1) Hey, isn't that Mark Zuckerberg? What's he doing in this movie poster? Did Facebook finance this movie poster? If they did, was it done using real money or Bitcoin? Who uses Bitcoin anyways? If someone tried to pay Movie Poster Monday with Bitcoin we'd probably superglue them to a movie poster. Really, dude, just use real cash money! You're gonna look like an idiot when you're out on a date and your Bitcoin is refused at the restaurant... Granted, guys that use Bitcoin probably don't get many dates...

2) So, are these supposed to be his Facebook friends? It would be kinda cool to have Woody Harrelson as your Facebook friend, I'd be afraid of the kinds of things that he would tag me in, but it would still be kinda cool...

3) Notice the use of a monochromatic palette to create a... zzz...zzz...zzz... No one cares, we're bored, add some colour to this poster, we feel like we're trapped in Picasso's colourblind nightmare!

4) Somebody is upset that he's stuck in the back! I sure don't want to be the guy who decided to stick Michael Caine in the back! Maybe he'll grab one of the letter "O's" and use it to unfriend a few people...

5) What's Macaulay Culkin doing here?

In conclusion, based on our detailed analysis of "Now You See Me", we predict that it'll make $20 million during its first weekend.

Monday, July 23, 2012

This is a revolution we never expected...

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "Step Up Revolution". This week's five points of the poster are:

(Image credit: Moviefanatic.com)
1) We couldn't believe that this wasn't the first "Step UP" movie poster.

2) We couldn't believe this wasn't the second "Step Up" movie poster.

3) We couldn't believe this wasn't the third "Step Up" movie poster.

4) We couldn't believe they made a fourth "Step Up" movie poster.

5) Are these people all dancing? It actually looks more like a gang fight to us, but more a gang fight like in the music video "Beat It" rather than the mean streets. The one guy in the middle also looks like he's having a rather difficult bowel movement, we hope that they had paramedics on-site that day for the movie poster shoot.

In conclusion, based on our detailed analysis of "Step Up Revolution", we predict that it'll make $35 million during its first weekend.

Monday, July 16, 2012

Holy movie poster, Batman!

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "The Dark Knight Rises". This week's five points of the poster are:

(Image credit: Cinemablend.com)
1) This might just be the most anticipated movie poster of the year and now we see why. An explosion in the shape of a bat? Are you kidding us? Genius! Bravo movie poster designer, bravo. How many explosions did the special effects guys have to detonate until they got just the right shaped explosion? We don't even want to know. 

2) Did Christian Bale stand there for every explosion or did he use a stand in? He's so dedicated to his craft that we wouldn't be surprised if he did stand there for hours until they got it just right. He might be a bit nuts, but he's one hell of an actor.

3) Just a warning to everyone on set, if this is Christian Bale in the bat suit, it looks like he might be just about to flip out again on set. Someone better leak the audio for it if he does! We haven't had something that entertaining in a while, and who could forget all the awesome remixes of his tirade that appeared all over the Internet? Inspiration like that doesn't come around everyday for the geeks. The fat, Star Wars kid was probably the last truly inspirational online meme. 

4) Eight movie star names that we recognize! That guarantees at least $80 million for the opening weekend! This movie is gonna make a ton of sweet, bat-coin!

5) This is the last movie. A last movie should be just that, a last movie. Not a last movie that's been broken into TWO last movies. Hear that Harry Potter, Twilight and Hunger Games?

In conclusion, based on our detailed analysis of "The Dark Knight Rises", we predict that it'll make $150 million during its first weekend.

Monday, July 9, 2012

Everyone loves the Ice Age

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "Ice Age: Continental Drift ". This week's five points of the poster are:

(Image credit: cinema.theiapolis.com)
1) Look at all the big stars that they managed to fit on this movie poster. The "Everyone Loves Raymond Guy", the guy that usually plays Latino guys, and everyone's favorite grumpy guy! It's amazing they didn't have to make this poster in large format.

2) Did they get a bulk deal on musicians? We can't remember a time on a movie poster when there were more musicians listed than actual actors. With this much musical talent attached, this movie is gonna have one awesome soundtrack... Or should we say, this movie better have one awesome soundtrack!

3) They really know how to increase the concession sales! All this ice and water will make movie goers crave a giant soda with their movie experience! (Unless you're in New York City where you'll have to be happy with a less giant 16 ounce soda.) 

4) Will animal activists stand for the allegations of abuse in this movie poster? Rumors of the mistreatment of animals was whispered on set, but never proven. We may finally have proof in this movie poster. While creative, turning a skunk into a skull and crossbones flag must be at least a bit abusive...

5) This squirrel cracks me up...

In conclusion, based on our detailed analysis of "Ice Age: Continental Drift", we predict that it'll make $76 million during its first weekend.

Monday, July 2, 2012

Anyone want to play spider-ball?

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "The Amazing Spider-Man". This week's five points of the poster are:

(Image credit: Collider.com)
1) How many basketballs died to make Spider-Man's costume?

2) Still thinking of all those poor basketballs.

3) Have our superheroes become such divas that spandex is no longer good enough for them?

4) I wonder if the new basketball costume helps Spider-Man bounce off walls better when he's thrown against a wall (which seems to happen in every movie).

5) We've been critical of 3D in the past, but we can't wait to see this in 3D!

In conclusion, based on our detailed analysis of "The Amazing Spider-Man", we predict that it'll make $60 million during its first weekend.

Monday, June 25, 2012

Has anyone seen Teddy?

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "Ted". This week's five points of the poster are:

(Image credit: Reelmovienation.com)
1) How could anyone resist a cuddly teddy bear? Nice move movie poster designers. Kids will be bugging their parents to take them to this movie and we all know what that means, double admission costs!

2) We wonder why they're laughing... Maybe they're watching one of Mark's movies. There's only one Mark Wahlberg movie we can think of that would make anyone laugh like that, they must be watching "Boogie Nights".

3) Who gave Teddy a beer?

4) Mila Kunis makes any movie poster better, so why isn't she anywhere to be found?!?! The combination of a teddy bear and Mila Kunis would have guaranteed that this movie would open at number one! Instead, we have Mark Wahlberg with a bad tie and khakis.

5) Hmm, do we really want to be publicizing the fact that this is his first movie? Just from this movie poster we know they don't know what they're doing, stop reminding us.

In conclusion, based on our detailed analysis of "Ted", we predict that it'll make $15.3 million during its first weekend.

Monday, June 18, 2012

Does Johnny Depp hunt vampires?

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter". This week's five points of the poster are:

(Image credit: EatSleepLiveFilm.com)
1) Good use of a full moon here because everyone knows that people turn into vampires when there's a full moon! Umm, err, ok, that might be werewolves. But, everyone knows that vampires can't resist moons that look like cookies! I guess that's supposed to be a skull? Hmm, I like the cookie theory better.

2) The constant dilemma of any movie poster designer is who to put on the movie poster when there are no big time stars in the movie. This designer has cleverly taken care of that problem by obscurring the face of it's main character. This could be Abraham Lincoln, it could be Dorian Grey, it might even be Johnny Depp, who knows? Either way, how could you not be excited to see a movie where the main character wears a top hat and carries an axe!

3) Vampire hunter? Cool. I wonder if any of the Twilight vampires will appear in this movie...

4) OMG, it's a Tim Burton movie?!?! Maybe that really is Johnny Depp! This movie poster has suddenly gotten really exciting!

5) I think it's great that they're making movies about the unique hobbies of past U.S. Presidents. I think the next movie they should make is: Jimmy Carter: Peanut Predator!

In conclusion, based on our detailed analysis of "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter", we predict that it'll make $36 million during its first weekend.

Monday, June 11, 2012

Blink twice if you're being held hostage, Andy Samberg

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "That's My Boy". This week's five points of the poster are:

(Image credit: Iwatchstuff.com)
1) Aren't there laws that protect the American flag from desecration? How could this be allowed to happen on American soil? How could the American flag be allowed to appear in an Adam Sandler movie poster? Was this movie poster designer being forced to design at gunpoint?

2) Yo, Andy! Just a quick piece of advice from your friends at Movie Poster Monday, your career isn't dead yet. Run like hell before this movie opens and just pretend that it wasn't you in that movie poster. Tell everyone it's that guy from American Pie, it won't hurt his career cause his career is pretty much done.

3) Upon closer inspection, it looks like Andy Samberg is being held hostage, or he really needs to pee. To be on the safe side can someone call 911? 

4) This movie poster is sponsored by Bud Light.

5) We would like to believe that this is just some tacky outfit that the movie poster stylist came up with, but something tells us that Adam Sandler may actually dress like this in his regular life.

In conclusion, based on our detailed analysis of "That's My Boy", we predict that it'll make $1.3 million during its first weekend.

Monday, June 4, 2012

No, Robert! Too sexy, too sexy!

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "Bel Ami". This week's five points of the poster are:

(Image credit: Collider.com)
1) This is the, oh, how you say, Robert Pattinson movie poster.

2) If this wasn't a limited release, just having Robert Pattinson doing his version of "Blue Steel" would likely get the teenage Twilight geeks to spend at least $10 million on this silver screen version of The Hills.

3) Is it our imagination or does everyone in this movie poster look like they're trying to do "Blue Steel"? 

4) Isn't this the same outfit he wore in Harry Potter? I guess they blew the whole budget on this hair.

5) We wonder how mad Colm Meaney is that he's the only star that got left off the movie poster. Well, maybe they would have included Colm if he wasn't such a "Meaney"! (We at Movie Poster Monday would like to apologize for that weak Colm Meaney joke)

In conclusion, based on our detailed analysis of "Bel Ami", we predict that it'll make $150.00 during its first weekend.

Monday, April 30, 2012

Who will avenge this movie poster?

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "The Avengers". This week's five points of the poster are:


(Image credit: Collider.com)
1) Wow, eight names at the top of the poster! Multiply by seven, carry the one, have numbers crunched by secret algorithms... If this movie doesn't make at least $90 million in its opening weekend it will mean our secret algorithms need more work.

2) We love how things are blowing up and the rest of The Avengers at least look like they're about to fight someone or something, but Captain America is just posing! Guess he's just concerned about looking cool in the movie poster, as opposed to helping his friends. Wonder if he's going to make appearances on Jimmy Kimmel and The View next...

3) We realize that The Hulk is supposed to be a big guy, but unless he's the love child of Godzilla and King Kong he's a bit out of proportion. Cause definitely if he really is supposed to be that big, his pants would have split too when he grew. Even with a pair of spanks under those pants, The Hulk would be going commando after his transformation.

4) Hello Scarlett! We think we've caught Samuel L. Jackson staring at your ass. Not that we blame him, but it's not exactly profession. We would have expected that kind of behaviour from Captain America, but somehow we think he might be more interested in admiring his own ass...

5) Does anyone think that maybe Robert Downey Jr. was too busy to show up to the movie poster shoot? His head looks like it was cut and pasted onto this body. Can anyone confirm that they used a stand-in and added his face in post-production?

In conclusion, based on our detailed analysis of "The Avengers", we predict that it'll make $90 million during its first weekend.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Wrath of the muppets

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "Wrath of the Titans". This week's five points of the poster are:

(Image credit: Nerdrepository.com)
1) Typically, one would expect the names of some big-time movie stars in this area of the movie poster, but there are none? Did the movie poster designer not get the memo? Did he/ she have a feud with the cast of the movie and decide to leave them all off the poster in a fit of designer rage? Usually when this happens, it means that there are no stars in the movie (After all, remember Footloose?) The mystery deepens...

2) We have a theory now to explain the missing names! We think that there were indeed the names of big-time movie stars on the poster originally, but during the course of this movie poster shoot they were all eaten by the giant, multi-headed, fire-breathing, umm.., err.., hairy thing?

3) IMAX 3D and Real D 3D?! Be still my heart, how are we ever going to be able to resist seeing the movie in both? Most of you by now probably know how we feel about using "3D" as a selling point for your movie, and as it's not 2009 we don't think it really helps. When we see "3D", what we see is, "This movie blows! Pay $20 to see imaginary stuff fly at you!". Not saying that there aren't times when "3D" does work as a selling point. The movie poster that sets the standard for the ethical use of 3D is "A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas". Movie poster designers will be studying it for years to come.

4) Further supporting our "All the big-time stars were devoured" theory, the only surviving member of the cast is shown here trying to stab the, umm, let's call it an angry muppet with a trident. Nothing wrong with wanting to kill the muppet before getting fried or eaten, but a big-time movie star would know that using the end of the trident with more "pointy things" would be more effective. It's obvious he's just one of the extras, who's now working really hard for minimum wage...

5) Remember that time in "Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy" when Brick Tamland stabbed a guy with a trident? LOL, we still can't see a trident and not think of that moment!

In conclusion, based on our detailed analysis of "Wrath of the Titans", we predict that it'll make $30 million during its first weekend.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Who's Hungry?

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "The Hunger Games". This week's five points of the poster are:

(Image credit: Hollywoodreporter.com)
1) At first glance we thought Jennifer Lawrence was so hungry during her movie poster shoot that she decided to roast a marshmallow. Not a bad idea as the roasted marshmallow smell would calm her hunger and be better than the smell of sawdust and badgers that lingers on most movie poster sets. But closer inspection shows it isn't a flaming marshmallow, it appears to be a flaming ring of some sort... Tell me more movie poster, tell me more!

2) Ok, so there appears to be a bird in the center of this flaming ring. It seemed strange to us that the bird was inverted, as most birds don't usually stand on their heads, nor are they depicted falling from the sky. Then it occurred to us, this is the shoot for "The Hunger Games"! Obviously, the bird died of hunger in mid-flight and has now fallen into a flaming barbeque. The hungry game playing children are about to enjoy a nice barbequed chicken dinner, yum.

3) The movie poster was obviously an homage to all the great Robin Hood movie posters. Who could forget the original bow and arrow number with Kevin "Don't make me speak with an English accent" Costner in a sexy olive green number, shooting a flaming arrow.  Then, as if possessed by the spirit of the original Robin of Locksley, Cary Elwes adds another feather to his green felt hat by delivering his best movie poster performance since "Hot Shots!" (After all, anyone who can survive a movie poster shoot with Charlie Sheen is pretty #Winning.) Showing incredible range, Cary's performance includes shooting not one, not two, but six arrows! Well played, Mr. Elwes, well played.

4) We were under the impression that Jennifer's powers in "X-Men: First Class" were just special effects. We were wrong. As seen in this movie poster, she has turned her blond hair a shiny shade of chestnut brown. It's no wonder none of her co-stars are on the poster as by not requiring hair and makeup on this set, they are able to reduce costs and pass the savings on to you...

5) We wonder what she's thinking, because she's obviously not thinking of food (No drooling). She is probably wondering what Russell Crowe was thinking during his unfortunate Robin Hood movie poster shoot. Chances are that Russell was wondering how he went from Gladiator to this piece of crap, and that he's probably going to become the first actor to have his Oscar revoked. Don't worry Jen, if this movie doesn't work out you can use your special powers to morph yourself into another actress, might we suggest becoming Kate Beckinsale?

In conclusion, based on our detailed analysis of "The Hunger Games", we predict that the kids will drop about $89 million during the first weekend on this movie.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Did we miss the rose ceremony?

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "21 Jump Street". This week's five points of the poster are:

(Image credit: Movieposter.com)
1) Now this is a modern movie poster. In a bold "jump" the movie poster designers have decided that if two dudes are going to Prom together they should wear matching tuxedos. And to be sure that no one else will accidentally wear the same tuxedos as you guys, you should also make sure that no one else would be caught dead in the tuxedos you pick out.

2) Looks like they tried to get matching haircuts too, but next time they should go somewhere other than Supercuts. (Although to be fair Channing's had that haircut since his breakout performance in the movie poster for "She's the Man" and Jonah just started getting haircuts during "Get Him to the Greek".)

3) So close, but I guess they don't make Jonah's shoes in Channing's size. I'm beginning to feel that someone here is having second thoughts about this "matchy, matchy" idea they both got for Prom... Let that be a lesson to the high school kids out there, ideas always sound better when you're full of Redbull and Twinkies.

4) At least they managed to get matching guns. Even if they couldn't agree on whether they should hold them up or down for the shoot.

5) There's balloons, smoke, roses, unhappy bachelors, hmm... Wait a minute, this isn't a movie poster shoot! It's the promo poster for the next Bachelorette! 

In conclusion, based on this thorough analysis we predict that the next season of "The Bachelorette" will be just as painful to watch as any of the other seasons.

Monday, March 5, 2012

Forget three wise monkeys, we're gonna need eight!

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "A Thousand Words". For the first time, this week there are eight points of the poster!

(Image credit: impawards.com)
1) We see Eddie Murphy has come back from his spiritual retreat, no doubt at some remote mountain village where he consulted a grey-haired living deity on how he could revive his career. After a recent string of hits like... um, ah, yeah, Beverly Hills Cop? Oh, the Oscars! No, he cancelled... er, nevermind. After recent success growing part of a mustache, Eddie has come back to Hollywood to share the wisdom that he learned on the mountain top. Looks like he's going to expand on the proverbial principle to "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. Here of course Eddie is speaking no evil, if only Charlie Sheen could have seen this early last year...

2) We think this was supposed to be "hear no evil", but Eddie's getting old so that's as high as he can lift his arms.

3) This one is obviously "smell no evil".

4) I'm guessing this one is "Hey, mon, I no evil".

5) Looks like Eddie got someone else to help him with "see no evil".

6) It's never a bad idea to remember that "Kiss to the forehead no evil, unless she wakes up and doesn't know who you are...".

7) This one might be "Grandma do no evil"

8) Finally we have "Baby's head's not spinning so no evil".

In keeping with the tradition of firsts in this post, for the first time we're not going to predict how much this will make in its opening weekend. Instead we are just going to predict that it will open in a theater somewhere and not just go straight to video.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Two-man wolfpack


This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie". This week's five points of the poster are:

(Image credit: Movieweb.com)
1) We can't be sure, but this might be the first tandem animal ride since the inspired cheetah ride in Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle. This wolf ride appears to be a tip-of-the-hat to that legendary moment in cinema, H & K fans everywhere will appreciate this thoughtful gesture. Some might even be touched enough to see this movie. It's always hard to know what they might do as they stuff themselves with White Castle burgers...

2) Do their heads seem unnaturally big for their bodies? They kinda look like bobbleheads. I would like to say they look familiar, but they don't. One would think that if they had a billion dollars to spend on this movie that they would look familiar, hmm... Nice to see they were able to us their incredible wealth to get a 2-for-1 deal on their khakis.

3) Wait, are these the guys from Flight of the Conchords? Doesn't the one in the blue shirt look like the guy with the sideburns? I think we might just have something here, they too have abnormally large heads, as seen on the cover of their DVD.

4) It wasn't immediately clear what this patch of grass was supposed to represent, and why would one need a wolf to run over it? Now that we've been able to identify the two main characters in the movie poster, it's clear that this is New Zealand drawn to scale! It would also appear that they have included a picture of every single resident of New Zealand. Kiwis are a fun bunch, I'm glad they made it into this movie poster.

5) Attention movie poster designers: When a movie poster calls for the appearance of an animal, it is usually good to use one that doesn't have rabies. (A general rule of thumb is not to use animals or actors that are foaming at the mouth.)

In conclusion, based on this thorough analysis we predict that "Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie" will gross $7.9 million during its opening weekend.

Monday, February 20, 2012

One-trick poster...

(Image credit: Collider.com)
This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "Wanderlust". This week's five points of the poster are:

1) Paul Rudd and Jennifer Aniston! This movie poster is full of rom-com royalty. How could it be anything but the funniest and most romantic movie poster of all time?

2) What could be more romantic than... running for your life? Why are Paul and Jennifer running away from the crew? Is the Director running around with a gun? Did the Boom Operator just turn into a werewolf? (If that's it, that would be really puzzling. After all, why would you have a Boom Operator on a movie poster shoot and how does one turn into a werewolf during the day? Although, since this is a rom-com shoot it might be one of those silly Twilight werewolves...)

3) Wanderlust, defined by Dictionary.com as a strong, innate desire to rove or travel about... Maybe they're not running away, maybe they are overcome with the desire to travel... to the end of the dock. You would think that as professionals they would have waited until the end of the movie poster shoot.

4) The name of this movie has inspired us to create a new word to describe our love of movie posters. Using the same method they used here, just combine words together and POOF, we have: "Moviepostermonday"! Defined as the desire to review movie posters on Monday...

5) Even without knowing the Role Models' team was behind this poster, it wouldn't have been hard to pick out the one-trick pony who directed this movie poster shoot. I think a certain director has a crush on Paul Rudd, how else could you explain BOTH posters featuring Paul's butt? Now, Jennifer Aniston we could understand, but Paul Rudd? (No disrespect to Paul, but you don't have the "leading man butt" that one would find on Brad Pitt, George Clooney, or George Hamilton, it's more of a Hank Azaria butt. Sorry, dude.) 

In conclusion, based on this thorough analysis we predict that "Wanderlust" will gross $11 million in its opening weekend.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Fire in the Cage!

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance". This week's five points of the poster are:

(Image credit: Majorspoilers.com)
1) Nicolas Cage? Where is he? Did he have an appointment with his bank manager? If so, couldn't they just reschedule the movie poster shoot? It really isn't helpful to have the name of a movie star on your movie poster and then not show them. Afterall, having the right star on your poster can make all the difference at the box office. Let's take the example of "Underworld", Kate Beckinsale was on the poster, it make a bajillion dollars and spawned like four sequels or something like that. "Click" on the other hand didn't have Kate Beckinsale on the poster and there were no sequels. I rest my case.

2)Oh wait, I think I see Cage, is this him? He doesn't look so good. I know he's been having some financial trouble, but I didn't know he had fallen on such tough times. Looks like he maybe got some of the discount plastic surgery in South America. Nick, Nick, Nick, get a deal when you're shopping for laundry soap, not when you're looking for someone to rip your face off and put it back on...

3) I do have another theory, perhaps he didn't borrow all that money for his real estate portfolio from the bank. Perhaps he turned to the mob for some of that "coin", and when he couldn't make the payments they made a visit to the set. As he was obviously melted to his motorcycle after that, I give the director of this movie poster shoot for making the best out of a bad situation.

4) Even if this is a mob intimidation tactic, I do have to say that it's pretty cool to have a flaming motorcycle!

5) Normally we don't like "3D", but there are so many numbers here that it gets lost. So what I'm saying is it doesn't really matter to me if it's 3D, 2D, or 2.17D.

In conclusion, based on this thorough analysis we predict that "Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance" will gross $40 million in its opening weekend (Mostly because we mentioned Kate Beckinsale in this movie poster review.)