Tinker, tinker, little movie poster...

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy". This week's five points of the poster are:

(Image credit: Flicksandbits.com)

1) Normally we discourage movie poster designers from putting too many words or numbers on a poster (cause the kids don't like 'em) but in this case it's pretty cool. They've used about a million cans of Alphabet soup to make a mosaic of a giant Gary Oldman face. Scary and cool all at the same time.

2) Tailor? No. Soldier? No. Spy? Maybe. But, another word would better describe what Gary Oldman looks like here and that is 'crazy dictator'! Like all crazy dictators he has giant, old-guy glasses. We've seen monster frames like this modeled by the crazy likes of Kim Jong-Il, Robert Mugabe and Larry King... If the goal of the designer was to creep us out a bit, then promotions for everyone!

3) Colin Firth is in this movie? Why isn't he on the movie poster? Everyone knows that nothing sells a movie poster like Mr. Darcy! They really missed a huge marketing opportunity here. Who could forget his work on the Bridget Jones's Diary poster? Then they decided they didn't need him on the movie poster for the sequel... All I'm saying is that it's been a while since I've seen a movie poster for a Bridget Jones's Diary movie...

4) Hahahaha, Benedict Cumberbatch... I hope it's a stage name, because otherwise his parents were really cruel.

5) Why is he wearing a glove? That's not common attire for crazy dictators. Tailors don't wear them, soldiers sometimes, spies rarely (too suspicious) so maybe he's a soldier. I guess that makes sense, most crazy dictators get their start in the military. This movie poster is an endless mind puzzle, maybe it's actually a secret spy thing pretending to be a movie poster! That (to paraphrase Kanye West) would be "Cray"!

In conclusion, based on this thorough analysis I predict that "Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy" will gross $20.9 million in its opening weekend. 

What's the thread count on this poster?

(Image credit: Seat42F.com)

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "Shame". This week's five points of the poster are:

1) Another one-word movie poster. There seems to be more of these appearing these days, could it be because we're getting closer to Oscar time? Many past one-word movie posters have catapulted the movies they represent to Oscar gold! Is this going to be one of those posters? Only the Academy knows the answer to that question. If anyone has the inside scoop, feel free to drop us an anonymous message here at Movie Poster Monday. We promise to give you a cut of whatever money we get from TMZ.

2) I guess the movie poster set designer is quite the domestic god or goddess because why else would they have chosen to display an unmade bed when he/ she was asked to design a shameful set? "OMG, could anyone imagine a more shameful event than if you had company over to your home and they saw your bed unmade? I would totally die right there!"

3) Letting everyone know that your movie poster has won awards is always a good way to draw attention to it. According to these ashtrays, or Oreos, or whatever they are, the poster has won awards in Toronto, New York, London... Telluride? And, um, some place called Michael Fassbender?

4) Are indentations in the bedding suppose to imply that someone or more than one person was sleeping in this bed? Did the stylists on this shoot simply not want to rough up the bedding themselves and instead decided to poke at it with broomsticks to try to create the "slept-in" effect?

5) Bingo! We have found the mystery behind the place called "Michael Fassbender". Apparently he is one of the stars of the movie poster. So, I guess he gave this movie poster an award? Not sure if a movie poster star giving their own poster an award is the most convincing move. Maybe instead he should have asked his mom to award his movie poster using her maiden name, then at least it would have taken a Google search to discover the trickery. Maybe that's the real shame in this movie poster, the Michael Fassbender Award for the Best Michael Fassbender Movie Poster. 

In conclusion, based on this thorough analysis I predict that "Shame" will gross $2.9 million in its opening weekend. 

Muppet Poster Monday

(Image credit: Collider.com)

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "The Muppets". This week's five points of the poster are:

1) Not too many guys can pull off a powder blue suit, Jason Segel is one of those guys. We're not actually sure how he does it, he is somehow always able to pull off unconventional clothing in movie posters. I mean, who could forget his appearance in a Hawaiian shirt on the movie poster for Forgetting Sarah Marshall? Once again, he nailed it. Still remains a mystery, he's not George Clooney and no one would rank him in the same class as Ryan Reynolds, so how does he pull it off? Maybe it's because he's so tall you feel he's imaginary, so wacky clothing is ok on him cause he's imaginary... That can't be right, cause then that would mean that Johnny Depp was imaginary...

2) This Muppet is creepy. Did someone make Jason Segel pose in a movie poster with his own voodoo doll? This Muppet is getting creepier and creepier by the minute.

3) Movie Poster Monday likes Amy Adams. +1 to any movie poster that includes her. Here's one Hollywood starlet that lights up any poster!

4) Ok, just found a Muppet who's creepier. Normal human people are creepy with mustaches, a muppet is really creepy with one. That accordion collar thing only serves to amplify his creepiness.

5) The old guys crack me up! I wish I could listen to their commentary during the shooting of this movie poster. I'm sure it has something to do with how creepy the whole experience was, and questions about, "What is the Twitter?".

In conclusion, based on this thorough analysis I predict that "The Muppets" will gross $25.3 million in its opening weekend. 

The phantom menace

(Image credit: OnlineMoviesHut.com)

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "Another Happy Day". This week's five points of the poster are:

1) Ellen Barkin has raised movie poster acting to a new level. For the first time an actor has successfully recreated the future face of a famous movie poster actor. In this frame she is playing actress Cameron Diaz in 20 years without plastic surgery, or 40 years if she decides to seek the assistance of cosmetic surgeons. Well done, Ellen, you're beautiful!

2) In this frame Ellen Burstyn asks, "Who farted? Was it you surfer girl? You were hanging out with that elf from the Lord of the Rings movie poster for a bunch of years and we know that elves have gas problems! After all, why else would they be pushed out of real villages and cities? Because seriously, who would voluntarily live in a tree and bake cookies if they weren't forced to because no one would have them as a neighbor...". (And the whole cookie baking thing is probably just to cover up the fart smell.)

3) It is obvious that this movie poster shoot is plagued by a suspicious, unidentified odour. Thomas Haden Church has also turned an accusing eye at Kate Bosworth. "Was it you?" He wonders... Also, he wonders what other horrible habits she picked up in the Forest of Endor or wherever she was vacationing with elf-boy. Then he notices that her eyes are different colors and is confused, and that appears to be the facial expression they captured for this poster. Interesting choice movie poster director, I guess you wanted to leave the possibility open that this movie poster shoot would end on a happy note?

4) Kate has had a rough time during this movie poster shoot with two of her co-stars accusing her of being the "Phantom Farter". Her inability to look either of them in the eyes might be an admission of guilt. Is she the "Phantom Farter"? Did she pick up bad habits from the elf? Will anyone ever want to work with her again on a future movie poster? Or is she just a classy lady who is ignoring these bullies?

5) Our apologies to Kate, we were lead by your jealous co-stars into believing you were the "Phantom Farter". It's obvious by the guilty look on Demi Moore's face that she did it!

In conclusion, based on this thorough analysis I predict that "Another Happy Day" will gross $3,872 in its opening (limited release) weekend. 

This is Movie Poster Monday!!!

(Image credit: Collider.com)

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "Immortals". This week's five points of the poster are:

1) I did enjoy the movie poster for 300, so I'm glad that as I review this poster I can do so screaming, "This is SPARTA"!!!

2) With so many names listed I almost thought that there were big time stars on this movie poster! But then I saw "Stephen Dorff" and I realized that they just decided to list a bunch of names. To be fair though, Mickey Rourke was nominated for an Oscar and Freida Pinto was nominated for TWO MTV Movie Awards (Best Kiss annd Breakthrough Performance Female) so there is some talent on the roster...

3) In the past Movie Poster Monday has been critical of movies that try to use "3D" as a selling point. While we still feel that it is no longer something that will make your poster special, if done discreetly it can still enhance your poster without being lame. This use of "3D" is subtle and doesn't distract from the rest of the poster. Nicely done.

4) I would love to have been on the set for this movie poster shoot! It's always a challenge to get people to stand on their marks for the shoot, but to actually suspend them upside down is quite another challenge. Danger points for suspending armed movie poster extras. Excitement and violence from all movie poster viewing angles, this is good work!

5) It's always interesting to see the competition that takes place when people are jockeying for prime movie poster positioning. Some people will do anything to be the center of attention in a movie poster and who could blame them? A starring role in a quality movie poster could make or break your career. Even Chuck Norris barely survived appearing in the movie poster for Top Dog, only escaping C-list obscurity thanks to a rescue by his TV alter-ego Walker, Texas Ranger. Here we can see that our friend here, who apparently felt a gold medallion on his stomach would be better than one hanging from a chain on his chest, is willing to do anything to secure a choice spot on any movie poster. I feel we'll see great things from him in the future...

In conclusion, based on this thorough analysis I predict that "Immortals" will gross $18.9 million in its opening weekend.

No one is on this movie poster...

Although we were hoping to review the poster for "A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas", we at Movie Poster Monday didn't want to draw any cries of favoritism if the poster received an overwhelmingly positive review (as it is widely known that we are huge fans of the H&K franchise).

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "The Son of No One". This week's five points of the poster are:

(Image credit: Wikipedia.com)

1) Two words: mustache! Sometimes they're weird if a movie star isn't Tom Selleck, but because there are two mustaches in this poster somehow it feels ok. Of course, even if it was a bit odd I might think twice before I said anything because did you see Al Pacino in Scarface? He's kinda nuts when someone makes him mad! Plus he's Al Pacino, and when you're Al Pacino you really can do no wrong. (I don't want any of you writing in to me about "S1m0ne" cause I already said Al can do no wrong.)

2) Big movie star names! Or at the very least these are all names that I recognize. There are also at least two names of stars that I believe would drop by the Movie Poster Monday offices for a chat if they received a bad review. I'll let you decide who the other star is as the first one has already been mentioned (did you see Scarface?) and there will be a special Movie Poster Monday prize for the first person to post the correct answer on our Facebook page - Facebook.com/MPMonday.

3) While there are some pretty big names on this movie poster, I do feel that it needs one more... Can you imagine how awesome this poster would be if it also had the name Neil Patrick Harris? I mean NPH rules! Al Pacino AND Neil Patrick Harris on one movie poster? That would be like having Vanilla Ice & MC Hammer performing on the same stage!

4) Is it me or does Tracy Morgan look like he just soiled himself?

5) I think I figured out why everyone on this movie poster is looking around and over their shoulder. One can never be too careful when Katie Holmes is around... Although Katie is really sweet, her Scientologist handlers give most normal people the creeps; and they're all aliens.

In conclusion, based on this thorough analysis I predict that "The Son of No One" will gross $9.1 million in its opening weekend.

I shot the Sheriff, but I did not kidnap the "Depp"-uty...

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "The Rum Diary". This week's five points of the poster are:

(Image credit: LiveForFilms.com)

1) This week's poster is definitely for the ladies! Finally, movie poster designers are listening to Movie Poster Monday and are making their big Hollywood star the primary focus of their poster! While this was a good move on the part of the designer, it's obvious from the look on Mr. Depp's face that no one else told him he was going to be posing for a movie poster shoot. Actually, they probably didn't tell him he'd be doing it in his boxers either. Note to designers, be sure to liase with your star's "people" so you don't have to do what they had to do here (which was obviously kidnap Johnny Depp and bring him to an undisclosed location for an unscheduled movie poster shoot). One sock up, one sock down, if done deliberately is genius as it incorporates the chaos of the room into the actor. If it happened while they dragged him into the unmarked van, just a happy accident that paid off...

2) The set designer obviously went to a lot of trouble to appeal to "hipsters". The retro typewriter, telephone and tiny bottles of alcohol are all things that they like... Quick! Run to your parents house and put their old phone and typewriter on eBay and wait for that sweet hipster coin to come rolling in to you!

3) Nice subtle product placement, Louis Vuitton! Didn't Johnny just do an ad campaign for them? Or was that Keith Richards? Ever since they did Pirates of the Carribean together I have trouble telling them apart. Somehow I'm thinking the designer of this movie poster was either inspired by the movie poster for The Hangover or he's been partying with Keith Richards. Just a hunch.

4) Poor fishy, what will become of you? Will your bowl tip you into a shaggy carpet death or will you be saved by Captain Jack just in the nick of time? (Note: No need to call PETA, I'm sure that the American Humane Society was on the set of this movie poster shoot to ensure that no animals were harmed in the production of this movie poster.)

5) What is this exactly? At first I thought it might be a retro mini-fridge, but then I noticed it's made of wood so thought maybe an antique mini-fridge? That doesn't seem right, so maybe a value-priced coffin for a midget? When you're partying with Johnny Depp and Keith Richards you never know what you might wake up with in your hotel room.

In conclusion, based on this thorough analysis I predict that "The Rum Diary" will gross $20.1 million in its opening weekend.

A high-margin movie poster

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "Margin Call". This week's five points of the poster are:

(Image credit: DaemonsMovies.com)

1) Once again this may have been inspired by another movie poster, but without knowing which one I can't carry that movie poster experience into this one. Movie poster designers need to drop the name of that movie poster into the copy!

2) Wow, talk about squeezing a lot of Hollywood stars into one poster! +1 to the movie poster designer who thought to use the 'slice and look' method (made famous by a movie poster designer named Pablo who worked in the 60's). Using this method one reduces a star's movie poster real estate to just a sliver that's wide enough to support his or her face. Second in order to make up for the absence of the rest of their movie star influence tools (i.e. - body, hands, etc.) you make sure that they give you their best 'Blue Steel' gaze (formerly called "The George Hamilton").

3) Hey, isn't that the guy from the Star Trek movie poster? How did he get mixed up with this crew? Well, it's obvious they didn't expect him to bring much attention. Not only did they ask him to pose for the movie poster from the side so they could make his slice thinner, they still went and cut off part of his face. Welcome to Hollywood, Mr. Spock!

4) Who's getting a lot of space on this movie poster? If you said, "Kevin Spacey", you would be correct! Not only does the "Space Man" get a big piece of real estate, he's the only one who's allowed to wear suspenders! Poor Zachary Quinto wasn't even allowed to wear a suit jacket... Is that movie poster star power or what?!

5) Demi Moore must have really wronged someone in a past movie poster because she been reduced to sharing her slice. And not with another movie star, but with a TV star! How insulting for this former star of a movie with the 'Swayze-est' actor in history! While I do enjoy Simon Baker's work on "The Mentalist" he is just not yet a star on movie posters. Even barely a TV star Penn Badgley (of Gossip Girl fame) has his own thin slice. Now I'm not sure who should be upset, Demi or Simon... Oh well, I'm sure Demi was just happy to be away from Ashton for the movie poster shoot.

In conclusion, based on this thorough analysis I predict that "Margin Call" will gross $23.1 million in its opening weekend.

This Movie Poster Designer Has More Than Just a Foot Loose

(Image credit: MovieFanatic.com)

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "Footloose". This week's five points of the poster are:


1) There are no movie star names on this movie poster. There aren't even minor movie star names. This immediately tells us that there won't be any recognizable people in this movie poster. In fact, these people might be so unknown that prior to this poster they may not even have existed. They may have just been pixels of unorganized love between an artist and a virtual paint brush...

2) I do have to wonder where this graphic designer learned to create movie posters. It is generally accepted that the title of a movie poster should probably not be smaller than other random words that might appear. Those who do not know of the original "Footloose" movie poster might assume that this movie poster is for the film "Cut Loose". Words on a movie poster should probably also not block out people on the poster, but in this case I'll ignore this faux-pas as we've already established that no one in this poster matters and they may not even really exist.

3) All the words in the poster are spelled correctly...

4) What's with this guy's hair? It kinda looks like a piece of Donald Trump's hair exploded and landed on his head! Even though no one in this movie poster matters, it would still be good to have a movie poster that doesn't scare small children. This movie poster will likely spend at least a few days on display before it gets moved to a video store or recycled so it's likely to give nightmares to a few hundred kids.

5) All people in the movie poster, real or imaginary, have the correct number of limbs...

In conclusion, based on this thorough analysis I predict that "Footloose" will gross $2.1 million in its opening weekend, if it makes it into the theaters...

Domo Arigato, Mr. Jackman

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "Real Steel". This week's five points of the poster are:

(Image credit: FlicksandBits.com)

1) This is nice work from an experienced movie poster designer. If you have a big Hollywood star you place him/her front and center! The stylist on this movie poster also did a good job of dressing Mr. Jackman. I have a grey hoodie just like that so it helps me connect with this movie poster. I also have many fond memories attached to me wearing that grey hoodie, so I'm now filled with fond memories of this movie poster.

2) Should someone tell Hugh Jackman that there's a giant robot sneaking up behind him to kill him? Likely jealous because he thought he was going to be the star of this movie poster, until Hugh jumped in front of him to steal the spotlight. Jealousy, violence, a robot, this movie poster has all the elements of a futuristic soap opera!

3) Separating Hugh Jackman's first and last name with a robot head seems like a mistake because it delays your recognition of a big movie star name on the poster. You're left wondering for just a moment "Hugh who?", Hugh Grant, Hugh Laurie, Hugh Jazz... But, I think this might be a clever way to foreshadow what's about to happen to Hugh when the robot exacts his revenge. Take the "H" out of "Hugh" and you get "Ugh", which may be the last noise Hugh makes before he is rushed to the hospital.

4) Emotional catch phrases are always a nice touch on any movie poster. This one would be better if it were true. In a moment all the courage in the world isn't going to save Hugh Jackman from the beating he's going to get from the steel robot.

5) Does this robot have a tattoo? I hope it was worth it for this one movie poster gig. It might be cool now, but he may live to regret it 10 years from now. Plus, it may limit the kinds of movie poster jobs he can do because not every poster is going to call for a robot with a tattoo. Definitely excludes him from future Disney movie poster jobs. Hopefully he had the good sense to get a temporary tattoo.

In conclusion, based on this thorough analysis I predict that "Real Steel" will gross $15.1 million in its opening weekend.

There's a 50/50 Chance That This Movie Poster Sucks

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "50/50". This week's five points of the poster are:

(Image credit: Empiremovies.com)

1) A good movie poster facial expression is important to any movie poster. Seth Rogen's face here says, "Yo, are you seriously putting me in this movie poster?"
Very expressive, might even be worthy of a "Best Guy in the Background of a Movie Poster" award nomination.

2) Hey aren't you that guy from the movie poster for Inception? Maybe, but we would never know it because you looked cool there. Sadly, the coolness of that movie poster won't help you here. No, here you are that guy trying to contact the mother ship. INCOMING TRANSMISSION FROM THE BIG GIANT HEAD!

3) Are those electric clippers? The designers have a billion images of clippers and that's the best they could find? He looks like a unicorn! If this was a movie poster about unicorns it would be cool, but it's obvious this movie poster is about the challenges faced by two guys trying to quickly shave their heads with only one mirror.

4) Names of movie stars are always good on any movie poster. Why are these names so small? Haven't they learned from Brad Pitt movie posters that people get excited when they recognize names on a movie poster? These names are all recognizable, but that's only if one can see them. The usual $3 million boost per movie star name is reduced greatly because of a lack of visibility and likely reduced to just $1.3 million per name.

5) 50/50 is not just the name of this movie poster's movie, it also describes it's chances of being a good movie poster. I had high hopes because Joseph Gordon-Levitt has some good movie poster work under his belt like Inception and Hersher, this is definitely not his best movie poster appearance. Let's hope this is just his idea of doing an "Indie Movie Poster" before he returns to do a movie poster more worthy of his talents.

In conclusion, based on this thorough analysis I predict that "50/50" will gross $9.3 million in its opening weekend.

Great Balls of Money!

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "Moneyball". This week's five points of the poster are:

(Image credit: movies.about.com)

1) Put Brad Pitt on any movie poster and "the ladies" will approve. Well, at least most ladies will approve, the others will just move on to the next movie poster. The bold "Pitt placement" in this poster will surely add a $10 million bump to its opening weekend.

2) Little known fact that about 2% of the American population are what's known as "Sleeper Baseball Movie Viewers" or SBMVs for short. These are people who have been programmed by a secret government black-ops group to watch all movies about baseball. Originally created during the Roosevelt administration these sleeper agents keep America's game alive in the cinema. Things that will activate them? Images of baseball diamonds, bats, balls, gloves, hot dogs, beer and Kevin Costner. Contrary to popular belief these agents do not own copies of "The Catcher in the Rye".

3) Brad Pitt showing his leading movie poster actor status by doing the complex over-the-shoulder movie poster pose. This is an extremely dangerous move for any actor, as some actors are completely unidentifiable from the side (i.e. - Kate Hudson)

4) Name dropping usually works, but in this case it does nothing for this movie poster. It might be based on a true story, but sounds like they never made a movie poster for it so I really can't carry over the experience I had from the other movie poster.

5) Making Brad Pitt's name five times the size of everyone else's is a good move because his name is the most symmetrical of all the starring names listed. People like symmetry, it's been proven that symmetrical faces are viewed as the most attractive, and for this reason it adds aesthetic appeal to this poster.

In conclusion, based on this thorough analysis I predict that "Moneyball" will gross $25.9 million in its opening weekend.

Restless Poster Syndrome

(Image credit: impawards.com)

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "Restless". This week's five points of the poster are:

1) Why have they put this see-through egg on the poster?

2) Someone needs to fire the stylist for this movie poster. A Cruella de Vil coat is only a good idea if you are headed to a charity fundraiser with a safari theme. Instead of concentrating on the cool flying scarf in the poster you are distracted by the thought of poor dalmatians being turned into coats.

3) Cool scarf. You have to wonder how it's staying in the air. Can't be wind because their hair isn't being blown, is the scarf alive? Is that what's meant by the title "Restless"? Is the scarf the one who is restless to escape from her neck? Is she forcing it to work criminally long hours with no job security? Tell me more, movie poster, tell me more!

4) What's up with the matching elf haircuts? I realize the budget for this movie probably wasn't huge but did they really only have enough money to send them both to Supercuts? And they likely saved additional money by having a trainee (who obviously only perfected one hairstyle) take care of them both. 

5) A movie poster best practice is name-dropping other movie posters. Sadly though, with no capital letters in this sentence my eyes just kind of slipped past the name-dropping sentence and into the clouds until I forgot what movie poster I was reviewing.

In conclusion, based on this thorough analysis I predict that "Restless" will gross $9.3 million in its opening weekend, $1.2 million if it only opens in selected cities (Pray that your city is selected).

This Movie Poster is Contagious

(Image credit: MovieNewz.com)

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "Contagion". This week's five points of the poster are:

1) Adding a bunch of famous Hollywood stars to your poster adds $3 million for every star shown so it's a nice move to squeeze in six. Even better that they added their names to the poster just in case they decide to use a photo where the star is blocking out half his face.

2) Creepy mustache on an actor that isn't known for his mustache (a.k.a. a guy who's not Tom Selleck) makes your poster creepy.

3) Poster has 'special effects' to make it look dirty. Nice touch as it looks like people have stepped on the poster and allows it to ignite society's reflex to support the underdog and those in society who have been mistreated. This move might give it a $20 million bump at the box office.

4) Jude Law is freaking me out cause he looks like a frozen Jude Law lollipop.

5) Many movies with one-word titles have won Best Picture Oscars. Displaying the one-word title of your film on your movie poster is the first step in this process, but this will only result in additional revenue after the Oscars. This is a long-term strategy and will do little to boost opening weekend sales, however it does add to overall movie poster enjoyment.  

In conclusion, based on this thorough analysis I predict that "Contagion" will gross $40 million in its opening weekend.

Shark Weak

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "Shark Night 3D". This week's five points of the poster are:

(Image credit: TheReelBits.com)

1) 3D? Seriously? I know that Avatar made a trillion dollars because it was in 3D, but really? That was in 2009. Doing that now is almost like adding #Winning to your Tweets, kinda outdated.

2) Now sharks are cool and they will always be cool. This is something that the Discovery Channel has figured out and that's why they keep bringing back "Shark Week" (Keep up the good work!) Adding a shark to any movie poster will automatically earn you $5 million on your opening weekend.

3) While sharks are cool, what's up with this shark? I think it's like blind or something cause it chased down the swimmer and then continued to swim past her... What's up with that? Is he chasing down her larger friend who's swimming in front of her? We'll never know unless there's a sequel.

4) A pretty girl is always a bonus in any movie poster. Girl in a bikini is even better, enough said.

5) Blood splatters are a tricky thing to use on any movie poster, kind of like an American actor doing an English accent. Sometimes it works, sometimes not so much. In this case it has missed the mark as it doesn't fit in with the story being told in the poster. It doesn't look like "shark attack" blood, it looks more like "vampire attack" blood. It's like they borrowed the blood splatter from a Twilight movie poster, which is never a good thing...

In conclusion, based on this thorough analysis I predict that "Shark Night 3D" will gross $11 million in its opening weekend.

Don't Be Afraid of This Poster

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "Don't Be Afraid of the Dark". This week's five points of the poster are:

(Image credit: PopTower.com)

1) Pretty colours, the purple definitely goes well with the dark background.  +1!

2) Putting names of big Hollywood stars usually is a good move on any movie poster, unless no one knows the name... Who's Bailee Madison?

3) The kids today don't like to read, this poster has a lot of words... too many words

4) More names that aren't familiar...

5) This movie poster would actually make a cool t-shirt, maybe they can make back some of their money through merchandise sales.

In conclusion, based on this thorough analysis I predict that "Don't Be Afraid of the Dark" will gross $9 million in its opening weekend.

Why Kids in 4D?

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "Spy Kids in 4D". This week's five points of the poster are:

(Image credit: StickyShoeReview.com)

1) If 3D effects make a movie more enjoyable, then 4D is going to be awesome! Great move to get some bodies in seats because you know they'll only realize they have no idea what 4D is after they've paid for the tickets. Plus, kids are the target market and kids will believe anything...

2) Kids should not be playing with electricity (even if I did, enjoy it and almost burned down the house once). This poster might prevent parents from taking their offspring for fear that their kids might get ideas that will electrocute them. This will definitely take $5 million off the opening weekend.

3) Jessica Alba's presence in this film should persuade some dads to take their kids to this, whether they were interested in seeing this movie or not (kids rarely turn down a movie and popcorn). This should help minimize the loss of revenue from the electrocution thing.

4) Aroma-scope really scares me. Kids kinda smell funny. So a movie that smells like kids isn't the best selling point for me.

5) Demon dog with what looks like a death-ray gun. Cool...

In conclusion, based on this thorough analysis I predict that "Spy Kids in 4D" will gross $15 million in its opening weekend.

Good Help Posters Are Hard To Find

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "The Help". This week's five points of the poster are:

(Image credit: Tribute.ca)

1) What are they whispering about? In this age of celebrity gossip and reality TV they will likely make $15 million just from people who want to know what they're saying. Good move poster designers!

2) Any time someone in a poster is looking directly at you it's creepy. Kind of like old oil paintings in a castle where it feels like the eyes in the painting are following you. This may scare some people away from this movie.

3) What does she have stuck on her nails? Did she just pick her nose? Wouldn't that be something, a Hollywood actress caught digging for gold on film! That would be worth the price of a ticket :)

4) The word "Change" may have worked for the Obama campaign, but it is now just associated with a failed promise to deliver. Not a good way to start a movie poster.

5) People are usually pretty good at following instructions if they are shouted at them loud enough. By shouting "HELP" loud and clear, it prompts some in the movie going public to respond to their SOS and purchase tickets to the movie.

In conclusion, based on this thorough analysis I predict that "The Help" will gross $28 million in its opening weekend.

Spare Some Change?

This Movie Poster Monday we'll be reviewing "The Change-Up". This week's five points of the poster are:

(Image credit: Filmofilia.com)

1) Name-dropping on movie posters is always good. It says to people, "If you liked the movie poster for The Hangover or Wedding Crashers you'll like this one."

2) Babies attacking Jason Bateman is pretty cool, but I'm not sure if this will help or hurt the box-office receipts. It makes me want to go see the movie, but mature movie-goers are likely to avoid it for fear they will develop a phobia of babies.

3) A pretty girl is always a good addition, two is even better!

4) Not to forget the eye-candy for the ladies, Ryan Reynolds should help guys convince their girlfriends that they might actually enjoy this movie!

5) I'm glad they printed the name of the movie in clear block letters because this might bring in additional revenue from baseball fans. They might get confused and think it's a baseball movie, with at least two pretty girls in it...

In conclusion, based on this thorough analysis I predict that "The Change-Up" will gross $17 million in its opening weekend.